How Donald Trump Happened

I know a lot of people watched the election results in disbelief last night, or woke up this morning and thought something like this:

You maniacs! You blew it up!

There’s a bit of sad truth there. But the real problem is how we reached the point where this was even possible. The amount of incredulity on display here is actually quite shocking to anyone that was paying attention. I knew Trump had some small chance given the political environment in America right now, yet I never thought he could actually win. The reason behind that misapprehension should shock some sense into every single one of us.

May the Worst Man Win

This Super Tuesday, it became readily apparent that Bernie Sanders and his unprecedented run were finally done for. So now that we’ve finally dispensed with the one candidate that genuinely cared, who remains? Donald Biff Tannen Trump, Ted Insane Zealot Cruz, and Hillary Nixon Clinton. Well, if those are my choices, then I may just vote Trump to finally burn the whole thing down, because we clearly deserve it.

I Love Nintendo, and That’s why it Needs to Die

I’ve been a fan of Nintendo and its content since I first played Super Mario Brothers in a 7-11 back in the 80’s. I slaved over my Nintendo Entertainment System in 1988 to master Super Mario to such a degree that I could play through the entire game without warps, all on one life. I was awed by The Legend of Zelda, subscribed to Nintendo Power for the free copy of Dragon Warrior, and made Contra my bitch after months of practicing with the aid of the infamous Konami Code. Then I watched a 90-minute Super Mario 3 commercial disguised as a summer movie, and reached a new level of devotion. When I was sick, the only thing I did aside from barfing my guts out and sleeping, was abuse my NES.