Election in America Town

Well, there we have it. Barack Obama is the 44th President of the United States. For the most part, everyone I know views this as a preferable outcome. One, for whatever reason, perceives Obama as a “dangerous charlatan.” Now, I’m not going to appeal to authority here, but the man is a former professor of constitutional law, wrote two books clearly outlining his core beliefs, and only recently paid off his student loans. Regardless of the hilarious and often wildly inaccurate labels applied to Obama on a fairly regular basis, he seems genuinely devoted to, at the very least, pull us out of the gaping void Bush has been–and until next year, will continue–digging to hide the battered body of America.

Barack delivered a very eloquent speech in attempt to put at ease, everyone who “lost” last night, and even McCain mollified his seething supporters in order to further legitimize the results. Some have been claiming he only won by 4%, but the Electoral Map paints a different picture; I think most would interpret 364-163 as a rather painfully obvious landslide. It’s also a point that practically 45% of both sides doesn’t count anyway, since so many people are unerringly “loyal” to “their party” that voting anything other than straight-ticket is downright mutiny! But you know what, you assholes? This isn’t a Coke vs. Pepsi war–you don’t owe the Demopublicans anything, because they are your public servants; if you can’t actually listen to the fucking candidates, periodically reevaluate your positions, and judge for yourself, you’re part of the reason no third-party can make headway in this country. Remove that 45% base from both sides, and Obama’s 6% (53% to 47%) becomes 80% to 20%–and thus the “swing voters” have spoken.

To the very few of you one-issue voters harping on some red-herring that Obama will take away your guns, shut the hell up. Seriously. Even if Obama wasn’t a professor of the fucking constitution, who would probably rather gnaw off his own arm than betray the spirit of that lauded document, he’s not a supreme court justice, no majority high enough to repeal the second amendment will ever exist, and just like abortion, is a bogeyman constantly brandished to keep “the base” in line. And to everyone calling him a Socialist, fuck you. I mean it. I don’t care who you are, or what you’re doing right now: take a penis wherever you can procure one, and deposit it directly into your rectum. “Socialism” paid for your fucking highways and city infrastructure. “Socialism” provides public schools, police and firefighters, and libraries so your illiterate ass can regularly imbibe literature. “Socialism” is a scare tactic beyond all scare tactics, and regardless of bureaucracy’s common ability to essentially ruin almost everything it touches, these are services millions depend on, for better or worse. Our country has the most expensive health care in the entire world per capita, and that doesn’t even cover everyone. We’d rather tell uninsured to hit the emergency room, thereby increasing everyone’s premiums with expensive emergency service, when prevention is demonstrably vastly cheaper.

The real problem I have with Obama and McCain is they both blindly voted for the 800+ billion bailout bill for the ass-sucking idiots that caused this fucking economic downturn in the first place, thereby encouraging further fiscal irresponsibility. For the record, Obama lost any support I may have had for him at that point, and McCain never had any. As “crazy” as Ron Paul may be, I’d like to see what he or his ilk would produce given a few years of dismantling the lumbering monstrosity our federal government has become. Sadly this is not to be, and so I’ve “lost” too, you frothing McCain crybabies. But I had to say something, because the hype is too verbose, the misrepresentations too numerous, and my ire too great. Forced with either McCain/Palin or Obama/Biden, there is no contest. Palin is a wingnut, and McCain is a sellout. Obama is at least educated and highly regarded, and so far as most know, untested in regard to his new position. Maybe we’ll get lucky and he’ll take his responsibility to heart, like Bush never did.

So buck up, you damn whiny bitches. It’ll be ok.

Until Tomorrow