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July 19th, 2010 | Published in News | No Comments

And so, I’ve fallen off the planet once again.

It’s not exactly like nothing has been going on, It’s just that my unparalleled boringness was eclipsed by my aggressive laziness. My vacation in Hawaii—which I returned from a month ago—still remains woefully unchronicled. Instead, my precious hours have been consumed by gambling and collecting bellybutton lint. Except for a few minor items . . .

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No Results Ever!

October 20th, 2008 | Published in News | No Comments

The EP looked through all the event monitor charts I’ve transmitted so far, and didn’t see anything particularly unusual. But he was looking for fast palpitations—basically tachycardia—where I flag anything that “feels weird.” If he’s not alarmed, I can only assume everything is “normal for me,” and move on, right?



October 16th, 2008 | Published in News | No Comments

So today at 8:30am, I had an MRI. It wasn’t as bad as [intlink id="masochistic-resonance-imaging"]last time[/intlink], but it sure seemed louder somehow. The machine was much more recent–sporting a fancy LCD embedded into its doughnut badness–yet in the advancements it contained, apparently none of the engineers considered integrating sound dampening to avoid permanently deafening patents enclosed entirely within its grasping confines after repeated exposure to proximal squeals resembling a drunken hobo occasionally plucking the same frayed string on a “sweet” electric guitar he found jacked into a defective amp incapable of any setting below 100 decibels.

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Finish Him! Hospitality! Gameality!

September 23rd, 2008 | Published in News | No Comments

Ugh! Fine, I’ll write something! Geez. So the post-hurricane monsoon eventually hit Illinois and dumped copious amounts of fluid upon our hapless suburbs, and a friend of ours has an aunt and uncle living in dangerous proximity to a lake. Most of Saturday afternoon on the 12th was spent moving their furniture to the second […]

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I’m Not Dead Yet: I Feel Happy

June 9th, 2008 | Published in News | No Comments

Yeah, really I’m fine. Cardiologist gave me a quick look-over and pronounced the episode I had a couple weeks ago a fluke, but that I should keep an eye on it and report back to her if it happens again. In other news, she says my performance in the stress echo is “fantastic,” so there’s that.

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