PG Phriday: Stuck in the Middle with Postgres

Earlier this year, I implied Postgres was some kind of [intlink id='pg-phriday-alien-incursion']super middleware[/intlink] for dragging data out of every external resource it could locate. But that example only used the Postgres foreign data wrapper to contact another Postgres server. Why be so unimaginative? The future is as unlimited as it is terrifying.

[caption id="attachment_1401" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Meet the new Postgres mascot[/caption]

PG Phriday: MySQL Mingle

Through the wonderful magic of corporate agreements, I’ve been pulled back into (hopefully temporarily) managing a small army of MySQL servers. No! Why can’t this just be a terrible nightmare?! Does anyone deserve such debasement?

[caption id="attachment_1299" align="aligncenter" width="550"]Side effects of using MySQL may include... Side effects of using MySQL may include…[/caption]

Hyperbole? Maybe a little. If MySQL was really that terrible, it wouldn’t be in such widespread use. However, as a Postgres DBA for so many years, I’ve come to appreciate what really sets it apart from engines and development approaches like those showcased in MySQL.

When Query Hints Attack

Ah, query hints. For all those times when the database isn’t doing what you want, they’re a useful tool for forcing the query optimizer to perform your bidding. But in this case, not only is the road to Hell paved with good intentions, it’s paved with a frictionless slide directly into a wood chipper that empties handily into an active volcano. With query hints, be careful what you wish for, because—to the detriment of all you hold dear—you just might get it.


About a week ago, my website and email vanished off the face of the internet. I think this deserves a certain amount of explanation, lest someone think I’m incompetent in my own field. Not too long ago, I switched off my colocated server because I don’t need my own personal machine for two websites, a couple very small databases, and a low-volume email server.