One Foot of Fun
My right foot is a piece of garbage. No, really. Since my teens, every once in a while, through some mysterious transformation enacted, doubtlessly, by clamoring minions of the underworld, becomes an agony generator equaled only by the presence of my Ex. But even I admit that, after years of DDR stomping, years more of wearing Nike Frees to strengthen various muscles, evidence might indicate healing or time or even luck had rendered that particular foot “normal.” Really, I should have realized: it was merely, like a bird waiting over your favorite parking spot, biding its time.
Earlier, I figured I’d take the next logical step and bought some Vibram Five Fingers, and some might blame my foot problems on these new shoes, except I only wore them two days due to the weather taking a rather drastic departure toward the absurdly cold and rainy. It wasn’t until several days later that my ankle and the right side of my right foot started to hurt slightly. Three days later, my ankle was swollen, and I was limping to avoid putting pressure on that foot. I didn’t twist my ankle, or trip on anything, or tumble town some stairs. I literally did nothing that would explain the diagnosis I received: a sprained ankle and possibly a mild tear in a ligament connected to my fifth metatarsal. My left foot? Completely fine, couldn’t be better.
Now I’m wearing a walking boot to immobilize my ankle and avoid use of any tendons for a week. I’m even supposed to sleep wrapped within its bulky confines, lest I twitch in the throes of some rampant night vision and catastrophically obliterate what’s left of my peroneus tertius tendon. To help facilitate this, I’m going to work from home for a week and elevate my foot, ice every hour, and imbibe plenty of naproxen sodium to keep the swelling down. That’s about all I can really do until I go back to the podiatrist and he tells me everything is kosher. And, I’ll likely have to lay off DDR for several months. My long journey from couch-potato to athlete to couch-potato is now complete!
But I’ve gotten active once, so I can do it again. It’s more important that I heal, and possibly figure out what caused this so it doesn’t happen again. But hey, I almost made it two decades since that foot has caused problems, so it’s an overall victory.