I generally try to stay out of politics, primarily because they tend to be highly charged and particularly polarizing. One of the discussion panels I watch semi-regularly did a live viewing party of Biden’s speech last night in Philadelphia. Disregarding their commentary for the moment, what I saw and heard on that stage was extremely alarming. I now believe it’s a moral imperative to vote Joe Biden out of office as expeditiously as possible.
Dear subhuman filth,
I know you’re probably too busy fornicating with your toothless inbred sister to read this, and your unkempt diaper-strewn trailer likely isn’t compatible with such technological advancements such as the internet, but we need to talk, provided you’re even capable of understanding English sentences that don’t include phrases such as “Y’all” or “Hold my beer!”, you hopelessly ignorant Redneck. Stop beating your pitbull with your fourth extra copy of the Holy Bible for one goddamn second, and listen here.
I know a lot of people watched the election results in disbelief last night, or woke up this morning and thought something like this:
There’s a bit of sad truth there. But the real problem is how we reached the point where this was even possible. The amount of incredulity on display here is actually quite shocking to anyone that was paying attention. I knew Trump had some small chance given the political environment in America right now, yet I never thought he could actually win.
This Super Tuesday, it became readily apparent that Bernie Sanders and his unprecedented run were finally done for. So now that we’ve finally dispensed with the one candidate that genuinely cared, who remains? Donald Biff Tannen Trump, Ted Insane Zealot Cruz, and Hillary Nixon Clinton. Well, if those are my choices, then I may just vote Trump to finally burn the whole thing down, because we clearly deserve it.
But wait, Hillary isn’t a narcissistic populist or a religious fanatic, so why do I hate her?
I’ve been a fan of Nintendo and its content since I first played Super Mario Brothers in a 7-11 back in the 80’s. I slaved over my Nintendo Entertainment System in 1988 to master Super Mario to such a degree that I could play through the entire game without warps, all on one life. I was awed by The Legend of Zelda, subscribed to Nintendo Power for the free copy of Dragon Warrior, and made Contra my bitch after months of practicing with the aid of the infamous Konami Code.
