Over the weekend, Hamas stormed Israel and committed what can only be described as a series of atrocities. Thanks to the specter of Social Media, they gleefully posted a series of videos as the invasion commenced, so proud were they of the massacre. These videos demonstrated a lack of humanity so profound, I’m at a loss to comprehend how someone becomes so twisted. A mostly naked woman with broken limbs in the back of a pickup, surrounded by men praising their God and spitting on her comatose and possibly dead body.
I generally try to stay out of politics, primarily because they tend to be highly charged and particularly polarizing. One of the discussion panels I watch semi-regularly did a live viewing party of Biden’s speech last night in Philadelphia. Disregarding their commentary for the moment, what I saw and heard on that stage was extremely alarming. I now believe it’s a moral imperative to vote Joe Biden out of office as expeditiously as possible.
Dear subhuman filth, I know you’re probably too busy fornicating with your toothless inbred sister to read this, and your unkempt diaper-strewn trailer likely isn’t compatible with such technological advancements such as the internet, but we need to talk, provided you’re even capable of understanding English sentences that don’t include phrases such as “Y’all” or “Hold my beer!”, you hopelessly ignorant Redneck. Stop beating your pitbull with your fourth extra copy of the Holy Bible for one goddamn second, and listen here.
I know a lot of people watched the election results in disbelief last night, or woke up this morning and thought something like this: There’s a bit of sad truth there. But the real problem is how we reached the point where this was even possible. The amount of incredulity on display here is actually quite shocking to anyone that was paying attention. I knew Trump had some small chance given the political environment in America right now, yet I never thought he could actually win.
This Super Tuesday, it became readily apparent that Bernie Sanders and his unprecedented run were finally done for. So now that we’ve finally dispensed with the one candidate that genuinely cared, who remains? Donald Biff Tannen Trump, Ted Insane Zealot Cruz, and Hillary Nixon Clinton. Well, if those are my choices, then I may just vote Trump to finally burn the whole thing down, because we clearly deserve it. But wait, Hillary isn’t a narcissistic populist or a religious fanatic, so why do I hate her?