DATE OF OPERATION : 07-17-84
PREOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS : L transposition of the great vessels, dextrocardia, double outlet right ventricle, pulmonary stenosis, atrial septal defect, ventricular septal defect, single coronary artery.
POSTOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS : Same.
SURGEONS : Peter Mansfield, M.D.; 1st assistant Edward Rittenhouse, M.D.; 2nd assistant Kathryn Batts, Physicians Assistant.
I’ve been feeing irritated again with my inability to interact naturally with people, and of course I wanted metrics quantifying the phenomenon. So I headed over to Wrong Planet and stocked up on tests.
The Broad Autism Phenotype Questionnaire gives me 123 aloof, 92 rigid and 97 pragmatic.
What exactly do you do, when you realize there’s nothing seems interesting? That you don’t want to meet anyone, because there’s a limit to the elements that influence the human condition, and people are nothing if not predictable, instinctually driven automatons ultimately devoid of novelty. We’re creatures of habit, of our environment, of parenting, of any multitude within a cavalcade of influences both imagined and concrete. Yet our psychology is exquisitely unencumbered with the confusion this might imply.
It’s funny, how we grip so tenaciously to the labels that bind us. Those essentially meaningless syllables that rattle with vowels and consonants but are lost to history and tradition. Do we really identify with these words? Or are they surreal and disjointed to the majority, only accepted as society demands?
What is this darkness? Can I see it, in this blackness full of light? A dawn of wonder crying softly all the while. For in those dreams of succor, there stands an empty hollow, a haunting, callow dread upon his smile.