Rant

I’ve been a fan of Nintendo and its content since I first played Super Mario Brothers in a 7-11 back in the 80’s. I slaved over my Nintendo Entertainment System in 1988 to master Super Mario to such a degree that I could play through the entire game without warps, all on one life. I was awed by The Legend of Zelda, subscribed to Nintendo Power for the free copy of Dragon Warrior, and made Contra my bitch after months of practicing with the aid of the infamous Konami Code. Then I watched a 90-minute Super Mario 3 commercial disguised as a summer movie, and reached a new level of devotion. When I was sick, the only thing I did aside from barfing my guts out and sleeping, was abuse my NES.

Mid March is an interesting time of year in 2013. Now that the Galaxy S4 has been announced, there are really three major contenders for my itchy spending finger. Well, technically there are four, but one of them doesn’t really count, for reasons I’ll expound upon shortly.

Stop it.

Seriously, just stop. All of you are acting like children. Not merely children, but spoiled little selfish brats, and it’s embarrassing to everyone. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Why?

I’ll tell you, and it’s not what you might expect to hear. It isn’t about fanboys or fangirls, theft of intellectual property, laughably vague patents on generic concepts which could feasibly apply to practically anything, jealousy, innovation, or even the almighty dollar. It’s all of these things, yet none of them, for which you should avert your attention to the ground and sheepishly beg our forgiveness.

I just installed Android Gingerbread (2.3) on my HTC Droid Eris. To understand the significance of this little achievement, we need to examine the wonderful world of smartphones, and why the market insists on doing a half-assed job.

The Eris was released November 6th, 2009. In the phone world, especially now that the smartphone market is heating up, this is somewhat ancient. It’s second-generation in a fifth and sixth generation world. It will never “officially” have anything higher than Android Eclaire (2.1). I’ve already been running Froyo (2.2) for months. It fixed a ton of bugs plaguing the official release, and improved the overall experience drastically.

It’s about time I write about something that is near and dear to our hearts. Something that affects the whole of our society and is probably one of the most pressing issues in the world today.

Yes, the quality of the Borders website threatens the very internet itself. Let’s see what this bastion of quality provides the public.