Ugh! Fine, I’ll write something! Geez.

So the post-hurricane monsoon eventually hit Illinois and dumped copious amounts of fluid upon our hapless suburbs, and a friend of ours has an aunt and uncle living in dangerous proximity to a lake. Most of Saturday afternoon on the 12th was spent moving their furniture to the second floor and sandbagging his house, and we didn’t get home again until around 1am. Nothing really notable happened, but I was highly amused by the garter snake seeking high ground on a recently arranged sandbag; thankfully I didn’t step on any wildlife while wading through the knee-deep miasma back to Jen’s car.

There’s a lot of debate in application development circles over various sundries such as column naming schemes and framework implementation details. Well, I’d like to clear all that up.

See, there are more application frameworks than grains of sand on the entire planet Earth, and each one of them has a different philosophy and API for creating database objects. Rails, Django, Turbogears, Zope, Zoop, Drupal, Catalyst, Nitro, Nuke… holy fucking Christ, stop it already! Apparently each individual person who glanced at a programming book last week thinks that language is the epitome of cognitive design, yet is incapable of operating a search engine, so decides to shit out an application framework collecting his or her various insights and pet peeves into a pulsating monstrosity that inevitably and mysteriously gathers followers, like an insidious cult.

On the 8th of August, I ordered a Merkur 39C Barberpole Slant from Lee’s Razors, one of the recommended retailers at a forum I frequent. I waited and waited, and didn’t get any kind of shipment verification. Eventually I saw that Lee experienced some kind of website snafu and lost several orders into the internet aether. I waited a little longer, hoping mine wasn’t one of these, but this was in vain.

What the fuck is Scrollkeeper? No, wait… I don’t care. I’m not even going to look it up. You know what, scrollkeeper? Fuck you! I shouldn’t have to nice down a background utility that suddenly decides it’s the most important program executing on my laptop the millisecond it boots. 90% or more of my CPU to do… what exactly? I don’t even know what this fucking program does, and it can’t idle in the background until it’s done? It has to reduce my system to a useless brick capable only of melting a hole through my fucking lap?

So, I’ve been absent for a long time, and the two or three people reading this probably wonder to where I vanished. Not that I have a lot of wacky hijinks to outline, but I have started a new hobby of sorts. I’ve recently acquired a safety razor. Yeah, the kind that accepts double-edged razor blades, the ones nobody uses anymore.