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Well, my trip down to the Coral Ridge Mall went splendidly. I arrived around 12:30, others showed up between 1:30 and 2:30, many of which were great crowd pleasers, especially the girl who managed to AA and FC So Deep. I should also mention that she did this while wearing heavy Hot Topic black pants, and a black shirt, all while not breaking a sweat. Scary. The guy I came to play with started off with doubles and almost pulled off a 10-footer as his final doubles song. These people are freaking pros, man. So now I have to practice more to avoid making an idiot out of myself in their presence.

On a bit of a whim, quite possibly brought about by lack of sleep, heavy drinking, and a sharp blow to the head, I purchased a printer from eBay. Normally this would be cause for concern! Such a risky lapse of judgement usually results in waking up next to an ugly transvestite who promises to be a good wife. Luckily for me, instead of an exotic VD, this time I only got a really good deal.

Sometimes, a book comes along that seems to redefine the very concepts of fiction. As an author, Dan Simmons was a veritable unknown to me until fairly recently. In the past few months, I’ve read four books that attempt to outline humanity and the nature of the universe itself. Up until now, I would have said my favorite author was Frank Herbert of Dune fame, or possibly George R. R. Martin with his yet unfinished Song of Ice and Fire series. What these two authors have done with politics, religion, and the human condition is almost unparalleled in this day and age. But Mr. Simmons has to be the first to string together a cohesive and finished plot line that ties up all loose ends with emotion and meaning far beyond the simple boundaries of imagination put to paper.

Final Fantasy X-2, the latest offering from Square-Enix (formerly Squaresoft) could make a seventy eight year old strung-out five dollar whore jealous of the pure level of suck it has managed to accomplish. Considering I actually enjoyed Final Fantasy X, playing the sequel is like feeding my massive wang into a meat grinder and slowly turning the handle for hours while pouring a mixture of salt and battery acid on the festering wound, then lighting the resulting chum on fire and serving the flambe to my mother for her birthday. Director Toriyama is apparently angry at the acquisition of Squaresoft by Enix, and has decided to subject former fans of the Final Fantasy series to excruciating torture in hopes they will abandon the series, thereby negatively affecting Enix’s bottom line.

Please, take a look at: this crazy crap.

This song has what the DDR community commonly refers to as gallops. Not just any gallops, but 1/16th note gallops through the entirety of the song. For a minute and a half, a player has to somehow pound out nearly 500 steps - that’s over five steps per second. I’ve been playing for a while, as my overly large calves will attest, but I can barely keep up with this song in training mode at a speed setting of 1 out of 5. As a result of trying, my calf muscles now feel like the recipients of a healthy baseball bat massage.