Earlier this year, I implied Postgres was some kind of super middleware for dragging data out of every external resource it could locate. But that example only used the Postgres foreign data wrapper to contact another Postgres server. Why be so unimaginative? The future is as unlimited as it is terrifying.
Meet the new Postgres mascot
Let’s start with a few prerequisites. We want to see the combined functionality of a few different Postgres capabilities, so let’s try and combine data from MySQL, Postgres, and Javascript using V8.
Now that we know how Postgres window functions work, why not play with them a bit to get a better understanding of their capabilities? So long as we understand window functions are applied after data gathering and aggregation steps, much of their mystery and complexity is defanged. Let’s start actually using them for stuff!
Captain Murphy is tired of your nonsense
(Note: I’m a bit under the weather today, so this Phriday will probably be a bit truncated and potentially incoherent thanks to the drugs.
I’ll be the first to admit that I found Postgres window functions fantastically confusing when I first encountered them. They’re a powerful and versatile tool for building reports and summaries, but that functionality hides behind a fairly steep learning curve. One of the ways to combat their inherent complexity is to fully explore how they work, instead of just trying to wrap our heads around the expected results.
Window doggies have gotten decidedly smug
There are a lot of languages available for authoring Postgres functions, but there’s nothing quite like the the classic PL/pgSQL. It’s SQL! It’s not SQL! It’s a kind of horrifying mutant crossbreed suitable only for terrifying small children and generating complex reports from a cavalcade of dubious sources! And deep within its twisted entrails is an often overlooked feature usually only available in far more mature entities.
That’s right, it’s obvious we’re referring to the ASSERT statement.
Connecting to a Postgres database can be a headache for end users and DBAs alike. Not because of the work involved, but the general irritation of managing passwords—an issue common to any system that requires authentication controls.
The user wants to say, “Who am I? None of your business!”
While the database is more comfortable with, “Go away, before I taunt you a second time!”
Well, there’s some middle ground everyone can enjoy, and a few Postgres-specific caveats which add a bit of flavor to the whole interaction.
