Holy Shit! Keith Olbermann seems to be a Democratic version of Rush Limbaugh, but that video is scary. It also doesn’t help that the Republicans are now questioning the freaking Democrats about their silence on the Foley scandal not days after reports Republicans knew about Foley for years, possibly even a decade! I understand a party may want to retain power, but Jesus Tapdancing Christ this is absolutely inexcusable.
And you are faded, and I am gone. To this, answers flutter from within dark recesses unbound and belittled. I’d seek no relevance through the unkind sights or withering sighs, but for all masks hidden in our eyes. So in the glimmer, a stark contrast filtered through and through, is flown beyond oblivion. There were once wishes in the unbidden, sake for sale, and writ bold by sole and solitude. So the wavering visages of the ides walk, undaunted by rage or irony, slackened not by tidings of two and seven.
I will never present a prepared speech.
Should the opportunity ever present itself, I could not in good conscience immediately rush to a pad of paper to start weeks of planning and a proper outline. Memorized or read from a worn and curled deck of 3x5 index cards, my inteded sentiment, whether melancholy, uplifting, somber, nostalgic, or zany, would lack every iota of my spirit. I’ve been called many things: old soul, arrogant, intelligent, asshole, creative; each moniker I’m given seeks to define a sliver of my personality, while none are even remotely accurate. I am the universe, and more. But more importantly: I am oblivion, and far less.
I thought I could be stoic about all of this, but I can’t. This is all really severely depressing. It’s not the “you need surgery,” that I feared, but it’s not really much better. Suddenly the fact I have a man-made ventricular septum, and outer vessels confusing enough to baffle an entire cardiology department has gotten to me. I’ve grown accustomed to having an abnormal heart, but drugs reintroduce a visceral reality of mortality I don’t want to remember.
Well, I finally attended the follow-up for my initial heart evaluation at University of Chicago. According to Dr. McNally and the Echocardiogram reviewing physician Dr. DeCara, my left ventricle is slightly weakened, and both my tricuspid and mitral valves show minor regurgitation. To remedy the left ventricle, I’ve been placed on Enalapril which relaxes arterial walls and eases blood-flow to reduce cardiac workload. I already have low blood pressure, so I’m a little trepidatious; I already get lightheaded when I stand up too fast, hopefully I won’t have any fainting spells. If I tolerate this well, she also wants to put me on a Beta-blocker to slow my heart rate and further reduce its workload. Considering my resting heart rate is a low 50, I can’t imagine it going much lower safely. Hopefully it only kicks in at the upper levels.