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So, I washed my car. Well, saying I washed my car doesn’t nearly illustrate the grueling procedure both I and my vehicle have undergone in the last two days. Here’s what transpired:

The Wash

The whole process started with scrubbing my car with Dawn. Yes, that Dawn, the stuff normally used for washing dishes, and could probably be used as an engine degreaser. Why? Because that’s what the instructions told me to do. It makes sense though, since practically nothing can withstand a Dawn assault, what’s left is a squeaky-clean vehicle.

I believe I’ve been living in a strange bizarro world for the past few days. In the last week or so, five people from work have been in a car accident of some kind. The first involved stopping to avoid an accident on I74, which of course caused them to be rear-ended by a lady on a cellphone, and sideswiped by a truck avoiding the person who stopped in front of him. They were fine, but the two-month-old car wasn’t so lucky: totaled. Next, girlfriend of a co-worker driving to work on I74 when suddenly she realizes a car coming at her from the other direction on the freeway. Another car on the right, concrete wall to the left, SUV plows right into her car and the one on her right: both totaled. Her car is flung into and partially over the wall, SUV flips multiple times and skids on its side for a few yards: totaled. Other than a few bruises and a sprained ankle, she is magically unharmed. Today, another two co-workers on their way to the office, loses control of his truck and sends it into a banked road to avoid a dump-truck: totaled.

2lb Lean Ground Beef

30oz Chili Beans in sauce

15oz Black Beans

2 boxes Kraft Macaroni & Cheese

15oz Tomato Sauce

6oz Tomato Paste

1/4c Milk

2tbsp Worcestershire Sauce

1tsp Rosemary Leaves

1tsp Ground Pepper

1/2tsp Garlic Powder

In 6-quart pot, add ground beef, Worcestershire sauce, rosemary, garlic and pepper. Brown and simmer five minutes; drain.

Well, I took part in a phone screening today. I was called by a company that needs a guy with Oracle experience. I figured I knew the basics: stored procedures, tablespaces, rollback segments, etc., so there shouldn’t be much to worry about. I certainly didn’t expect questions such as, “What does a ORA-3113 error mean?” This was followed quickly by “What are some specific Oracle supplied PL/SQL packages you may have used in stored procedures?” I didn’t anticipate pinpoint questions concerning esoteric database structures and errors. All I have to say is I got pwn3d.

Stand in the place where you live
Now face North
Think about direction
Wonder why you haven’t
Now stand in the place where you work
Now face West
Think about the place where you live
Wonder why you haven’t before