Don't need no edumacatin'

Note: Names have been changed to protect the retarded, but they know who they are.

People are nothing, if not hilarious.

A local school had a referendum on the ballot yesterday, the second of February, which was soundly defeated. Why was the district begging for cash? It might have something to do with the state cutting half their funding. Not ten, twenty, or even thirty percent, allowing for some measure of reorganization to preserve programs, half. The property taxes in the district’s area are some of the lowest in the state, not having been raised since the 1970’s, so they hoped the public would cut them a break just this once.

The public said Fuck You in no uncertain terms, and proves just how ignorant and selfish people really are, when all is said and done. The best part is that the district had money set aside from previous years of surplus, and have kept everything running partially on that surplus since last year, but decided against putting the referendum on the ballot then, thanks to the presidential election, which studies generally show is the time referendums are statistically likely to be defeated by voters uninterested in the issue. So, the district is doubly fucked. No money, and now, no surplus. Now major cuts are needed if the district wants to survive at all.

So let’s see what the ass-slurping cock-mongers get for their Fuck You. Band? Gone. After-school clubs of every kind? Done. Over ten percent of the teaching staff? Don’t let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya, bitches. All-day kindergarten? Those kids are too fucking young to learn fuck-all anyway. Besides, everyone knows that’s just daycare. Class sizes? As high as your sister after that all-day gangbang; hey, she let you go first, so it’s not a total loss.

There’s probably more, but it’s not like I took careful notes while I was suppressing my urge to kill. Now, I fully realize asking for money during a bad economy is probably going to be as successful as stopping your mom from slobbing my knob (God damn, I said stop, bitch!) and the district could have asked for money during better times to ensure they could weather a downturn. But they didn’t. Maybe out of some misguided pride in their fiscal responsibility, or maybe it was that undoubtedly far-fetched scenario of the state cutting the budget in half that never would have occurred to them under any circumstances short of a fucking Zombie Apocalypse. Seriously, what the fuck, Illinois?

I know the state is experiencing a huge deficit. Those are usually handled by state-wide cuts across the board, not huge, eyeball-gouging swaths from some, and none from others. Part of the problem of course, was that the district’s own fiscal responsibility made them a candidate for their own ass-rape. See, the state saw that taxes in the area were low, and that the school had a small surplus, so figured it could cut more. So there ya go, kids: spend every dime you have like you’re the only hooker on a New Jersey shipwreck, because if you save any for a rainy day, they’ll just call you a stuck-up bitch and fuck you harder.

Some of the parents even dismissed the whole issue, stating that they’d vote NO on the referendum, and instead, send their children to the local private school. That’s the best part, really. It clearly illustrates the “I’ve got mine!” mentality that has so permeated American society as a whole. The whole fucking reason we even have public schools is because many could never afford private schooling. We decided long ago that an educated populace was a boon to civilization, that we’d rather have an educated workforce because the alternative was often a guy stabbing you for your wallet, and raping your wife because… well, why the fuck not? It’s not like the poor SOB has anything to look forward to, what with no fancy book larnin’ what keep him in a jerb, so he lives under an overpass because we cut those programs too. But, at least you have the lowest property taxes in the area, so you still have that on your side as you’re bleeding out on the street.

It’s also a great psychology experiment. So many people are self-absorbed douchebags, they project those very attributes on others. Many of the teachers who lost their jobs would gladly do so if it meant the children could retain some of the cut programs. Even some of the teachers who still have a job would rather be unemployed than see critical programs cut. Yet some parents, and even teachers will accuse anyone supporting the referendum as merely interested in protecting his or her job, that the only reason they care is because of a paycheck. Speak for yourself, you arrogant jizz-gargling chlamydia pustule.

“But I don’t have kids!” they whine. Yeah? Well, unless you really were spawned from an act of succubus rape, you spent at least a year or two as a child, and more than likely, went to a public school. You also benefit from the trained monkeys it produces–since our class warfare almost guarantees public schooling is necessarily of lower quality–so pay up, you selfish ass-gobbler.

The most exasperating thing about this is of course, the seeming backlash in this country against all types of education, as if we now consider it some kind of elitism. “We ain’t come from no monkeys!” No we didn’t, you ignorant fuck! Due to species differentiation, we both diverged from a common root several million years ago. Besides, don’t insult the fucking monkeys; they’re likely glad they didn’t come from you, either. “Oh, well you’re just an overeducated snob!” What, because I paid attention in school instead of agonizing over the most aerodynamic spitball I could produce? Because I understand that superstitious bullshit like astrology is literally impossible considering the trillions of other galaxies which make up the universe, and supposing our piddly corner of a single galaxy any influence over human personality is patently ridiculous? Teach to the controversy? Really? Is alchemy still a valid alternative to chemistry, or is it just evolution that’s “controversial?”

I’ve just about had it with this country. It’s as if we espouse stupidity, and have as a consequence, demonized the educated as amoral malcontents. I’m actually starting to hope Idiocracy isn’t a documentary, because it’s almost hard to believe otherwise given the–albeit relatively circumstantial–evidence at hand. This one defeated referendum is hardly a microcosm illustrative of the country as a whole, but it is a terrible example of priorities in suburban Illinois. Considering Illinois is relatively liberal, which historically values such things as education, that’s a sobering and terrifying consideration. Fuck you too, residents of [REDACTED], IL. You reap what you sow.

Until Tomorrow